Uniquely You…Helping Your Children Find Who God Designed Them to Be

One of my favorite (and sometimes frustrating) things about having four children is that they are all completely different. For example, when they were babies they each slept differently. While one could simply be laid down, another needed rocking and patting and sounds. As they grew, their varying temperaments showed up in how they handled new situations. While one was willing to go anywhere and do anything, another was far more reserved and took their time.

But as they began to enter elementary school you could see some of these traits become a part of who they were-how they learned, followed directions, studied and developed friendships. And by the time they were tweens their personalities really seemed to solidify.

One child was a perfectionist, one was overly conscientious, another open to any experience and another was very social.

But then something happened to one of them, in the midst of their transition from childhood to tween. It started as what seemed to be simple “cliques” in the classroom with our girl on the outside of those cliques. But then it turned into more…it turned into bullying. We didn’t catch it until we started to see personality changes. Our girl that was so super social and confident became quiet and reserved, second guessing everything she did.

We removed her from the situation, made a fresh start, but the damage was done. She has never been the same.

Every once in awhile we’d see glimpses of her…giggling with a friend or relaxing with the family. My heart was always full in the moment but then mournful later. At those times I would have given anything to have her back to the girl I remembered from long ago but that would never be.

As she’s grown into adulthood, she is still anxious and worried about doing things “right.” But I am seeing her become her own person, trying to figure out school, work, life. It warms my heart in a different way.

I am so thankful for God being there to hold our hands through the process. I am especially excited to see the what God has planned for her, using her lived experiences as a strength. I also pray for her to be comfortable in her own skin and with who she is.

I’m sure others may by experiencing something similar. I’d love to pray for you-I know what a tough parenting moment this can be. Please reach out!

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Also join me next week as I tackle part 2 of this series-Uniquely You, with a focus on finding and being who God designed you to be as a parent!